Posted in health talk, Opinions and Letters

INFERTILITY: Age Has Got Everything To Do With It 

​* In the days of our grandparents, a woman in her 20s would have given birth to  her second or third child. 

* It was quite common then for  women to have had all their children before age 30.

 But things have changed. Women are readily postponing marriage and by extension child bearing.

Sperms and egg
Sperms fertilising an egg during fertilisation process

There are several reasons for this development. Women are acquiring more educational qualifications in order to get better paying jobs before settling down to get married and start their families. Meanwhile, their biological clock is steadily ticking away.  By the time many achieve this goal, they are already well into their mid  or late-30s.
Even  men are not making matters easier.  In the face of the current economic situation, many eligible young men are reluctant to settle down in marriage until they are financially stable.

All these and more combined, today, many women are  having their first babies in their late 30s. It is therefore no surprise why the country is witnessing associated infertility problems.  Experts say a woman’s eggs are as old as the woman, unlike the man whose sperm  is  renewed every few weeks.

It’s a fact that age is the number one factor that determines fertility especially for the woman.  A woman does not only have to battle with age but the stressors in the environment:  Stress as a single mother, stress of coping with everyday life, being a bread winner, with addition to family’s income. And this stress multiplies  after marriage. The woman is under a lot of pressure from all angles.

This was exactly what happened to Ekaette John, a brilliant and pretty accountant. At 20, she had already graduated from the university. But for her, it was just the beginning of her career.  As the best graduating student that year, she was given scholarship for further study abroad.

Ekaette stayed abroad for another four years. Back to Nigeria, she became a  chartered accountant.  She was really engrossed in her academic pursuit.  As years passed, Ekaette never thought of marriage.  Her dream was to take a course in Harvard School of Business.  Ekaette could not make it to Harvard but made it to a prestigious university in the United Kingdom.

Despite the fact many men were seeking her hand in marriage , she put her educational  pursuit first.  Finally at 32, with series of degrees and as Managing Director of a big accounting firm, she was ready for marriage.

But it was not easy finding Mr Right. Two years into the search, no even looked her way or approached her for friendship not to talk of marriage.   Many of her contemporaries in the family were already married with children. Ekaette was now feeling too old.

At  36, she was under pressure to settle down with a widower, who showed interest in her.  But the problem was not over. One year into the marriage,  there was no pregnancy. They went from one hospital to another without  positive result. She was told they should keep trying.  Another year passed. She finally faced up to their childlessness.   Ekaette attended so many baby showers and naming ceremonies. This  added to her stress. She became a bit of an introvert. But she did not give up. The years passed and, in the process of searching for solution, she visited a fertility clinic in Lagos.  Ekaette was close to 40.  After series of tests, it was found that her eggs were  weak and no longer viable.  Her prolactin levels were sky-high. So she was put on  drugs to bring the levels  down.

The fertility experts recommended IVF with donor eggs.  They noted that it would have been more helpful if Ekaette had frozen some of her eggs when she was younger as such eggs could have been used in place of donor eggs.  Although  IVF is said to be expensive, anyone who can afford a secondhand (tokunbo) car, can afford it.

According to experts, IVF with donor eggs or embroyos  are usually for old women from age 40 or women unable to become pregnant with their own eggs like Ekaette.    It is also recommended for women and their partners that have fertility problems, or if the woman had repeated miscarriages because of embryo issues, donor embryos may be an option (two women, one baby).

Also, single women with fertility problems can  conceive using donor eggs or embryos, and men without a female partner can become fathers by using donor eggs or embryos and a gestational carrier.  However, there may be laws restricting unmarried people from using gestational carriers.

Although  IVF with egg donation is similar to standard IVF, there are  key differences. For instance, to synchronize the menstrual cycle of the donor with the recipient, a medication must be used to suppress the recipient’s natural cycle and prepare her uterus for implantation of the embryo. During this time, the donor receives fertility medications to stimulate the maturation of multiple eggs. Once the eggs have been collected from the donor, they undergo fertilisation with sperm from the recipient’s partner. Embryo transfer occurs several days later, once the new embryos have been examined and the healthiest ones are selected.

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Posted in health talk, Opinions and Letters, Relationship matters

Save Your Life From Getting Ruined Due To Pornography: The Problem With Masturbation  

So many people don’t know masturbation create serious problems till they get married. 

Both sexes masturbate. Girls masturbate as much as boys do, they just don’t talk about it. 

Not just some men masturbate, some ladies also do it

People masturbate on the excuse that they do not want to fornicate but since their bodies are burning they’ve gotta find a means of release before they burn to death.

Let’s talk about sex a little. The real enjoyment in sex comes when a man can go in, hold it, thrust in and out for a long time before ejaculating. I’ve gotta get real with singles here because most people set the wrong foundation for their marriages and ruin their chances of ever enjoying sex forever. A man needs to “hold it” for as long as possible before shooting because once he shoots that’s the end of the show. The wife is left helpless with her body crying for more but the man can’t go further because he is completely done, worn out and weak.

Here is where masturbation ruin your sex life. The man is used to getting a release WITHOUT WAITING, he has formed a habit of going solo and getting a release as soon as the pressure for sex comes on him, of course, since he is not married, he does not understand the consequences.

After marriage, he suffers from PREMATURE EJACULATION. Some men’s case are so worse that while the woman is still undressing, he has already masturbated and wet himself to the disgust and annoyance of the woman. This is not theory, I’m talking about real life issues.

Some men also ejaculate before gaining enterance at all while some shoots the moment they gets in. These are all BAD, VERY BAD sex acts.

Ladies who are always achieving orgasm through dildo and solo stroking won’t enjoy sex too. You won’t be able to wait for the man to work on you. You are so used to the orgasm that you can’t feel the sexual experience or you compare your husband to your dildo or sex toy. That’s why some women complain they don’t enjoy sex even if they have it with different men on daily basis.

Learn to hold your body. Self control is a quality you must possess if you want to enjoy sex in marriage. Some singles argue that it’s better to fornicate then and avoid the problem of masturbation altogether. It’s still thesame problem of IMPATIENCE and LACK OF SELF CONTROL. If you must always have sex as a single person, you will commit adultery in marriage, because whenever your spouse is not available or heavily pregnant, you will go out and look for who to have sex with. It’s as simple as that. A successful married life is built on principles, you can’t eat your cake and have it. If you cannot control yourself before marriage, you won’t control yourself after marriage.

Avoid watching pornography. You can’t watch those heavy scenes and not masturbate. Get close to God and get busy with your life and vision. An idle hand is the devil’s workshop. People who are physically and mentally lazy carry out all manner of vices imaginable.

Read good books that shape your future. Make friends with positive people who value chastity and purity. Avoid friends who crack dirty jokes and say lewd things.

Respect your body, value yourself and put sex in the right perspective.

Learn to wait for sex. There is no where you are rushing to. If you marry at 25 you still have 75 years to enjoy sex so why the hurry?

Impatience is a vice not a virtue, learn to wait for what is yours. It pays on the long run.

Written by Okeson don Sunny